The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
