and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
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One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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