It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
