Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
