He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
4 words: hood of his car
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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