If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
