maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
