That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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