Nicole vs. Life
i wish my penis had a tongue
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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