We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize