I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
this beer tastes like vomit already
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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