Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I need a burrito and a hug.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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