Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
