Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
pray to the hookup gods
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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