We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
