I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
