I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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