Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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