what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
