Need sex. Gaining weight.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
