Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
