didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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