I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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