i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Randomize