my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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