STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
