Swine flu. Run for my life!
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
