so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
