ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
