Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
