So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
