Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
