I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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