That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
