I skipped work to stalk him.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
