Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
