I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
