Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
