I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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