Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
