Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
