If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
