i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
