i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize
