His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
