i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
