"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
