I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
