One girl and one boy is just not enough.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
