Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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