why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
