I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i will never coherently bang her
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
