Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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