I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
