Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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