I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
