Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize