I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
