I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
tell me about the eggs
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