I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
