I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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