Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize