I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
