dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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