She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
