Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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