There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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