the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
