hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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