I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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